So like I said in my previous pet peeves post, this one might hit a nerve with a few of you out there.

I want to start this off by saying that I don’t care about what people do in the privacy of their own homes. If it doesn’t hurt me, then I’m not going to try and dictate your life. This is the United States of America, and you are free to do pretty much whatever you like, but you have to know how some people will perceive you if you make certain decisions in life. I mean there is a specific group of people out there that really annoy the general public with their lifestyle.

That being said, I’m pretty sure that chewing gum should be illegal. At least in public.

Ok, let me set the scene; A woman walks up to you in a business suit. She is very well dressed, hair done, nails manicured, and a golden D&G on the side of her glasses. You think “this woman means business. I need to hear what she needs to say.”

Now before she speaks, she blows a big pink bubble and chews on her dubble bubble with amazing stamina. You have immediately judged her. She is now a bimbo who is spoiled by her Dad, and gets everything she wants.

Still not convinced?

Take Superman. Arguably the world’s biggest superhero. Man of steel, standing for truth, justice, and the American way since 1938. Just imagine him flying through the sky in his cape; ripped superhuman muscles, dark hair blowing in the wind, fighting some unnamed villian and saving the world.

Now imagine him smacking his Big League Chew as he fights the villian. Suddenly your admiration is out the window, and you feel inclined to yell “Hey the world is at stake, why don’t you spit your gum out and and try a little bit harder?!” You suddenly wish Batman was around to show him how its done, all cause he was chewing gum.

I know you agree with me. Admit it. These “chewers” infect our movie theaters and pop their winterfresh just as Amy Adams is running into Ryan Gosling’s arms. Some do it in big bubbles, as if it were some kind of unspoken competition. Others do it in little random high-pitched bursts that occur more frequently.

It happens in class; some girl or guy starts smacking away as if we are all supposed to be impressed with her/his jaw’s endurance. Just smacking and smacking and smacking away as if it were so natural the Mona Lisa was blowing a bubble  for Da Vinci too. Who are these people, and why do they think its ok?

I get it when you are in middle school; its not allowed in class, but the vending machines sell it. Its a way to show your preteen angst and rebel without having to steal cigarettes from your neighbor next time you mow her lawn. But why would anyone ever carry this habit past the age of 13?

I may have lost some friends over this one, but its who I am. I guess at the core of it, I’m just a mint kind of guy.

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